I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
