Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dick very happy bro
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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