Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize