Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize