The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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