I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
