I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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