oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
