well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
