Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
