Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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