So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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