kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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