i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
