U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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