i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
