..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
