thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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