Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.