i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
