all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.