Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow