Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.