roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up