My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I use my feet as sexual weapons
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.