he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
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She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?