yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.