She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition