Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
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Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I checked into jail on foursquare
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.