If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dating After Heartbreak
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.