Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
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I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.