Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.