That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
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Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.