Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes