AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have fence marks all over my body