I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!