The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
