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Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
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