WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
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I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i think my tv is drunk
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.