also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.