Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.