thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
well most of my day revolves around power hour
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.