Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover