so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.