Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.