The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.