Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.