I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!