i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.