I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My liver just broke up with me...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed