Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
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I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
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I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My hand turned me down