I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
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My hand turned me down
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
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That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me