i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often