i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
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If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often