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I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
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