apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.