if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually