I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......