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we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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