Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (718)

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  (718): View more from New York

  Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital

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  (718): Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital http://tfl.nu/1aye
  Replies (2) Good night (252) Bad night (1183) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?

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  (718): You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish? http://tfl.nu/wvgn
  Replies (28) Good night (8273) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.

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  (718): We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged. http://tfl.nu/etq6
  Replies (6) Good night (2467) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  ...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex

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  (718): ...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex http://tfl.nu/2clh
  Replies (17) Good night (4587) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.

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  (718): I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there. http://tfl.nu/dv4v
  Replies (13) Good night (4030) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.

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  (718): My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/zkml
  Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation

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  (718): bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch (917): I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/gosl
  Replies (40) Good night (34730) Bad night (1080)
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  (718): View more from New York

  The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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  (718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33
  Replies (5) Good night (3205) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

  (917): View more from New York City

  smooth operator

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  (718): he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty (917): smooth operator http://tfl.nu/2sej
  Replies (25) Good night (7296) Bad night (981)
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  (718): View more from New York

  "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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  (718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. http://tfl.nu/b4vo
  Replies (95) Good night (5679) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...

  (718): View more from New York

  What do herpes have to do with anything?

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  (609): I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico... (718): What do herpes have to do with anything? http://tfl.nu/w2v0
  Replies (4) Good night (443) Bad night (940)
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  (718): View more from New York

  is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?

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  (718): is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy? http://tfl.nu/hdnt
  Replies (54) Good night (1998) Bad night (913)
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  (718): View more from New York

  i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..

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  (718): i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share.. http://tfl.nu/5uhy
  Replies (11) Good night (3298) Bad night (890)
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  (718): View more from New York

  At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.

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  (718): At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down. http://tfl.nu/ki6l
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  (718): View more from New York

  Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."

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  (718): Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom." http://tfl.nu/h2e6
  Replies (15) Good night (3985) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt