Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
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So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
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I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?