He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka