This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing