IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm at about main and main street
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax