REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.