By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
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I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
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Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.