Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.