Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
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studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..