I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.